Ex On The Beach 2 - Episode Two.

Episode two of Ex On The Beach treated us to a whole new helping of Ex action. There were nipples, bums and buckets, plus a new level of crazy! What more could we want?! Here’s what we learnt…

1. Muttley, sorry, Megan apparently got guys to beat top nips up. She makes Kayleigh look like a beanie baby.

2. Megan said YOLO out loud in an actual sentence. Twat alert.

3. Mel’s slagdar struck again, this time it gave a reading of ‘loose whore’.

4. Whilst Rogan got a private nipple watch from Anita we could clearly see what she'd had for breakfast.

5. The ol’ huff and blow looked like a classic case of 'I don't want to go to school today mum' from Connor.

6. We can't tell if Loren was stirring a pot or winding up a jack in a box. A career as a mime does not await.

7. Next in the range of Mel’s gadgets is the ‘Bullshitter Bell’ coming soon.

8. Megan got pied. It was like watching a scabby badger dry hump a prize-winning watermelon.

9. They're all so cultured 'slip it in big boy' & 'my tits are amazing' – they learnt all the classics.

10. Nipple watch. Morgan's baby nips were peeking through what can only be described as a string vest. This is not a drill.

11. Morgan unleashed the wrath and the decorative bowls shit themselves.

12. Forget nipple watch. It's all about the crack. Rogan. Butt. Naked.

13. How is it possible for someone to emerge from the ocean looking that good? Jess is clearly a vampire or unicorn or something.

14. She makes him laugh his tits off. That's some serious shits and giggles. Have you seen the size Rogan’s tits?!

15. It's not every day you see a Welsh tattoo covered Bieber straddling a horse. Luke’s a fairytale prince in the making.

16. Adams nipples were perfectly on form glistening in the sun getting their cheeky flirt on.

17. Future girlfriend. Rogan you smooth little shit. He’s smoother than Morgan’s chest covered in melted butter.

18. Uh-Oh! Morgan angered Kayleigh! It was nice knowing him.

19. Loren went from chief wing woman to giggling school girl in a flash of the wolf of the west end’s smile.

20. He got feelin's an' that has Rogie Bear.

21. Sad faced Anita is more upsetting than watching a three legged puppy with a bag stuck on its head backing into a busy road.

22. Nobody who uses the word moist can officially be a ten out of ten.

Now bring on the Gaz!!