Tuesday 9th September
“If Vicky stays..I'll kill her.” - Carol.
Better hide the knifes then.
The latest eviction results apparently surprised everybody but the bookies. I wasn't THAT shocked that Courtney left – she'd been living on borrowed time once she started flirting with Mario. Despite being very entertaining, sweet and kind, (especially to Lauren. I loved the friendship the two of them had) it was her at the bottom of this five way vote to save. Over Mario. *Shakes head* (side note, Katie loves him)
Courtney provided some hilarious moments – no more so than on her first night in the house when she was tottering around in her high heeled slippers having some ridiculous drama with Doug Bunny the Rabbit. Since then, she made a fab friendship with Lauren who she apparently kept reasonably sane and confident throughout her time there. It may have been the constant wearing of far too small bikinis (although I suspect boobs that size needs bikinis that have been specially made) or the shameless flirting with Mario (and resulting pointless denial) that was her ultimate downfall. Courtney certainly had her fans, but as time went on, she became less interesting to watch and just became another moaner that wanted to leave.
Louie I was shocked at. I strongly suspected Vicky was leaving last night but this was not to be. I didn't actually want Vicky to go – and as was pointed out to me last night, any viewers who didn't like Charlotte probably became a fan of Vicky after their row – so I was pleased she'd stayed but Louie.... Eeh.....I was warming to him. There was something undeniably admirable about the way he would just tell anybody what he thought in no uncertain terms. A lot of the time, this just came across as bitchy, but other times it was needed. If Louie had had someone to really battle with in there, it would have been great television but alas, all he really ended up doing was whining about wanting to go. And then left just as he was starting to enjoy himself. That's show business darling.
The insanely short highlights we got (which started at the ridiculous time of about half past eight in the evening) showed very little other than a huge amount of resentment brewing between Carol and Vicky. Sadly, with only two days left to go (only one of which we're going to get to see), I can't see the huge argument that is destined between them actually happening, but Carol has now gone from somebody who I was laughing a lot at to somebody I now roll my eyes at till it hurts. Don't take drink away from Carol if you value your legs. I fail to see how she could have thrown so much stick at Denise for her time in there, when – minus flashing (so far) – she has been pretty bad herself. Not in a particularly fun way either; more sitting and bitching horribly about anybody and everybody. Vicky on the other hand probably can't wait to leave, as Carol and her cronies (of which Vicky was once one) sit and grumble about anybody who's dared to annoy them.
And then there was Carol's sleep bitching. Amazing. Or not, depending on how convinced you are as to just how asleep Carol actually was. Seemed pretty fluid speech to me, but then Carol WAS drunk. Clearly she doesn't think before she sleep talks.
Monday 9th September
“Somebody's put a Cup 'A Soup in the kettle...for some reason..” - Lauren.
I am trying to like Charlotte. Honestly. She's not making it easy though – especially with what went on tonight. I'm sorry but how in God's name could anybody accuse Lauren Harries of playing a game? The woman can't walk four steps in front of her without falling flat on her arse. How would she be able to construct a game plan? That would involve knowing exactly what makes the other housemates tick. I don't think she possesses that knowledge. I think that Lauren is desperate for friendship in there and the reason she gets into such a tizz over the thought of being nominated is because nominations mean negativity. She's had a lot of that in her life (some deserved, but most of it will have been transphobia) and the thought of being trapped in that would be hell for her I admit, this is pure speculation and if it's revealed that Lauren was playing a better game than Nasty Nick on intelligence tablets then I will hold my hands up – and then applaud Lauren for being the best game player the show has ever seen.
To be honest, the vibe I'm getting off Charlotte now is somebody who is seeing her own game slipping through her fingers. Some people aren't pretty when their backs are against the wall and Charlotte is no exception. She attacks in any way she knows how – without really thinking through what is coming out of her mouth and the results are things like calling Vicky “thick” or indeed Lauren a “gameplayer.” Sorry, but I'm not buying it. As far as I'm concerned, Charlotte and Mario are simply watching somebody who, at the moment, is more likely to win than they are and they don't like it.
Vicky and Charlotte made up from their row from last night. Vicky apologised for shouting at the girl who was shouting at her and they both got under the covers and snuggled. Charlotte then wet herself. No, not really.
I have to say, I like Vicky – and even though I know full well she's going tomorrow night, I will always respect the way she stood up for her beliefs and didn't make TOO much a twat of herself.
Meanwhile, Courtney continued to display her ignorance to British customs in a spectacular fashion by sticking a couple of stock cubes in the kettle. My guess is when you're tottering around all day in pink furry high heeled slippers and avoiding “toots” like the plague, you don't get much time for embracing a good old fashioned broth.
Of course, the main point of tonight's show was Big Brother's Bitch Fest. This...Oh, I don't even know where to begin. This annoyed me beyond all measure.
For a start, please stop putting Rylan in there for tasks. (Although I did notice that he seems to have had his teeth shortened. Good move.) He had more than enough time in there in January. Like it was literally just him and Speidi. And the occasional scratch of the testicles by Razor. Seriously, I've seen enough.
Secondly, bringing Danielle and Sophie back only succeeded in demonstrating to me how much more interesting the series could have been if Danielle hadn't gone in the first eviction. The woman is a class A bell end, but describing Louie as a “pirouetting piranha” frankly delighted me more than it probably should have done. And the second she walked into the room, it was clear there was unfinished business between her, Louie, Sophie....Urgh. The potential that was wasted. Mainly proved in the fact that practically nothing was said about the task when it was over, so it didn't even manage to rub anybody up the wrong way long enough for it to have an effect. Except perhaps Sophie and Danielle who I imagine were scrapping in the street outside the moment the cameras were off them. Face it folks, the drama was evicted too early. Learn your lesson British public.
“Yeah, I'm just a fat slag from Newcastle. Yeah well that's all you are darlin' – that's all you are.” - Vicky
I scoffed, very loudly and full of my own self importance, when Carol said “I wish that happened earlier today.” Try earlier on in the series love.
Wow. What a row.
Urgh, fine – I'm getting ahead of myself.
Day eighteen brought the housemates together – in more ways than one. For today's task, the Celebrities were tied up in pairs, unable to escape from their partner at any time, whether it be to go to the loo, private time in the bedroom or most importantly, during nominations.
I thought the pairings were very fair – people were taken out of their comfort zone and arguments looked set to happen from the outset. Except of course in Mario and Courtney's case. I have to say I've gone off Courtney quite a lot and wouldn't really shed a tear if she left on Wednesday. I do wonder if taking part in Big Brother has taught her that there's more she wants to do in her life – get drunk, flirt, have some new experiences. Maybe we'll find out in a Channel 5 reality show. Following Stodden... The Girl in the High Heeled Slippers...Ooh, I like that last one.
In any case, Courtney and Mario's new “thing” happily paled in comparison to what was going on in the rest of the episode. The nominations brought into question as to just which of the “groups” has the most power in there. When it came right down to it, Carol, tied with Lauren, ended up nominating Louie and Mario. Mario, stuck with Courtney (and he soon will be if he carries on) ended up nominating Carol and Vicky and Charlotte, thanks to Abz, was forced to nominate Carol and Mario. Seems the outcasts have a bit more say in there than was first thought.
The letter shredding finished them off however and brought about a fantastic argument between Charlotte and Vicky.
One thing I should say before I continue is that my opinion in no way represents the opinions of this site – but I was fully on Vicky's side.
She's right! Take a long hard look at Geordie Shore for a moment. What is it? A group of young kids from Newcastle, going out, shagging on national television and, in Charlotte's case, wetting herself, self defecating and genuinely just making a prat of herself. I've got no issue with people getting drunk and making themselves look stupid – Hell, I wouldn't watch Big Brother if I did. But as far as the term “Celebrity” is concerned, Charlotte should look up to Vicky. Vicky, whilst admittedly not being in the public eye for a few years, has more professional and life experience than Charlotte has in her little finger. And plus, Charlotte's “job” is to be gobby, loud and obnoxious. Which is exactly what she has done since being in the house, because it's what her fans expect to see. She's loved and adored on Geordie Shore for being the funny one, the one who is proud of her blow job skills and the one who will stick her finger up at the world if they don't like it. What's happened instead, ever since the BBFM task, is that Charlotte has found that the world doesn't like her style quite as much as she thought they did. She's now been sulking about it ever since. Personally, I think Charlotte assumed she had Big Brother won. She's a reality TV star, she knows what's going to be aired and has on numerous occasions made sure the camera is on her, look at her when she was bored and slid off the dining room table. You're telling me she does that when there aren't cameras on her? Charlotte has, in my opinion, found herself around people who are willing to help her learn about life. However, she seems to have a “if it ain't broke” attitude towards it and will doubtlessly leave the house with very few lessons actually learnt. Maybe I'm wrong – I hope I am. But my honest guess is that she'll be mortal and pissing outside a kebab shop the second she leaves...it's what is expected from her after all.